I’d like to share 9 important things to know about marriage that I discovered in just the first 3 years of mine. These 9 things truly amaze me every time I see evidence of them.
I’ve talked about 5 things you might lose when you get married before, but those are just things I realized after the fact. No one ever really told me anything about marriage! There were a few cliché bits like, “don’t go to bed angry,” and some antiquated shit about doggy-style causing a man to never respect you, but nothing very useful or particularly memorable.
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Things to Know about Marriage: I’m a Wife!
No one told me I’d still find myself thinking, in awe, “I’m a wife?…” 3 years after our wedding. Before I met my husband, I had kind of given up. I’d almost come to accept that I would just stay alone with my cat for eternity. I became so complacent that the cat scenario even began to seem like a pretty pleasant situation.
Now, I still find myself musing about the words “husband” and “wife”. I like rolling them around in my head and speaking them slowly. Their weight on my tongue feels magical as though it’s the night before my wedding!
No one told me how it feels to wake up next to someone you REALLY like. Even if we’ve fussed lately or we’re both going through extra stressful times, it’s still the BEST feeling in the world to wake up next to him.
No one told me how heart-breaking it would be to see my husband in pain or distress of any kind. I had no idea how bad it would feel when I’m unable to do anything to help.
No one told me how GOOD it feels to know I always have someone in my corner. He backs my choices 100% and supports me along the way. It goes vice versa, too – I am always on his side because his side is my side.
No one told me how rewarding it is when I can see how proud he is of me. No expression of pride seems more genuine than pride coming from someone you CHOOSE to love. It’s much more special than pride from a parent or relative.
No one told me how relieving it is to vent frustrations to someone who won’t pass judgement. I can talk shit about people who piss me off. I can tell him all the rude thoughts about hitting so and so right in the eye. He won’t hold it against me, and he won’t take me seriously. I’m just venting!
New & Old
No one told me how extra-special holidays become when you marry your best friend. I’m not gonna lie, I’ve always loved Christmas. But I had NO IDEA how much more I would love it when I married him. Putting up our decorations and Christmas tree together is, hands-down, one of my top 5 favorite things to do together. He is partial to Thanksgiving, but Christmas has grown on him since we’ve been together.
No one told me how much heart we’d invest in cultivating new family traditions. We are both trying really hard to commandeer Thanksgiving. It doesn’t always work out just right – we’re met with resistance or conflicting schedules – but we’re still going to have a dinner here in our home, no matter who comes or doesn’t.
Got me feelin’ like Tevye talking about TRADITIONS!@!!
Just Keep Going
No one told me how you never know if you’re doing it right or not, you just keep going.
Just keep doing what feels right. If it turns out you were wrong, apologize and try again. If it turns out you were right, limit yourself to less than 3 “I told you so” dances.
Bonus thing no one told me #10!
No one told me mothers-in-law (take the quiz!) aren’t ALWAYS hateful old bags who feel like no one will ever be good enough for their perfect sons.
MY mother-in-law loves the bits out of me and I love her, too.